'How are Toni & David today?'
'Toni is singing her greatest hits and David is banging on about Human Rights. I mean, quite rightly so, but he's particularly vocal today.'
Thankfully, Braxton Hicks contractions end when you give birth, so I didn't need think about them for
'Toni will not shut up with "Un-break my heart" and David is very shouty. Very very shouty.'
Or when one hits in public people around me start to look very concerned. I have pregnancy induced asthma this time around so the squeezing of my entire middle coupled with my reduced lung capacity often has me feeling a bit pale and breathless.
'Er, are you in labour? <nervous giggle>' I'm highly tempted to say yes, just to see what they do.
So for the next few weeks Toni and David will continue to sing on loudly and bang on about human rights, and then I'll give birth. And I will